17

Tujuh Belas

First Time in Love 

In my mind it was just silence. You just shut up and leave me. So did I. Moments that never happened before.

I'm having trouble dealing with it. It's all awkward. Everything is quiet and slow. I choose you without telling you.

Of course every day I remember. Even the habit of remembering you I imitate. I don't know how to forget it. This is all the first time it's happened to me. Someone's meaningful words. "You have to understand, he wouldn't know if he hadn't been told." Really? I trust my inner contact. On a late-night break. I'm sorry. I'm so nervous. The first time I was ambitious. I want to have your heart. Like my memories are too naughty. It's all about the question. And I can't find an answer. Even to this day. It's still hard. Never mind. I have to say you're bad. Like a fool thinking of you. I'm angry too. It's hard.